chronicles of a bug slayer

Tue, May 20, 2008

I have to keep a work log on our Elgg, to keep “da management” up to date with what I’m doing but after a while it starts to become extremely dry and tedious. So I thought, after some particularly harrying goings on, that I would attempt to keep some humour in the proceedings, especially when I note the bug fixes I’ve been doing. So this little ditty is an attempt to humourise the work of a bug slayer general, like wot I am! What follows is an elaborate account of how I squished a bug in Elgg today.

From the Chronicles of Elgg, chapter 89.

Sir Crack Coder of Practical Castle is reclining after long hours in the chair of knowledge. Suddenly, a great commotion is audible beyond the far horizon. Our hero mounts the stone steps to the topmost turret to investigate further…

“It would seem the Elggish are in tumult”.

Just then, a knock at the great oaken door of our knight’s castle precipitates our man down the flights of steps to join in conversation an emissary from beyond the horizon.

“Sir Crack Coder, we are harried by a great monster. For it denies us entrance to our stronghold and the Elggish will be left outwith the castle walls, in mortal danger with night approaching. Come ye and save us oh great Knight of the Order of the Compiler”.

“First, Messenger of the Elggish, I must consult the Boogle of Knowledge. I must know mine enemy before battle is joined” and with that, Sir Coder made for the antechamber of knowledge, where the great book of all wisdom was consulted.

“Egads, messenger. ‘Tis the Beast Unchecked you speak of. Though, as fortune has it, the Tribe of Trac have knowledge of how to defeat this hideous creature of the Buggish empire. I must accompany you back to the Castle of Elgg without delay, there to pronounce the Incantation of Patch. Come, my Elggish friend. We must away”.

A pitiful sight indeed awaited our hero and his follower. A great number of the Elggish hordes were trapped outwith the castle walls.

“We have come from other lands to enter the great Keep of Elgg”, wailed they but the Beast Unchecked roared in anger and denied them entrance to the safety of the walled garden within. Sir Coder acted at once.

“Stand aside messenger and cover thine ears, for I must up and pronounce the Incantation of Patch.”

“If, oh Users of the Elggish Council, you are not set within the mighty Session Of Elgg, I command ye, Beast Unchecked of the Buggish Empire, to create ane Elggish Session ANEW!”

and with that, the great doors of the Castle of Elgg were opened, admitting the Elggish hordes and the Beast Unchecked was banished to return to the Buggish Empire from whence it came.

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